Photos

Because why not put pizza in the part that's supposed to be left open. 

Took the boys last minute to the Dude Perfect show at the Amway Center. So grateful for a group of guys who love our Savior and some wholesome fun. It's refreshing in this crazy world. Liam was adorable dancing before the show started. 

Coolest nap time hair ever. 

What happens when Liam wants to feed Anders a bottle.  

Tried a new beach for Labor Day. I am a fan of the Gulf side. Smaller waves and less stress for this mom. 

And Chris and the boys tried out the sailboat on the ocean. Boys gained a healthy respect for the boat and for currents and wind. They all said it was a little scary but they all came back smiling. I'm sure they'll have many more adventures. 

Matches their personalities pretty well. 

Sunday afternoon nap. Who needs a pillow when you have. Dad. 

Hauling them back to the car from soccer practice. 

Nothing like sending the kids on ahead and realizing there was a huge alligator on the shore that they all walked past. No big deal. (as I took a little while getting my heart to stop beating so fast) The long floating thing in the water is the alligator. I prefer to see them behind the fence. 

He just looked so handsome that I had to take a picture. Love you my little Anders!

Idaho Trip Part 2

 The rest of the drive was uneventful. Except for the snowstorm. In May. It was tiny and mostly just fun and it probably helped keep me awake, because we finally made it to the ranch at 1:00AM. I cleaned up poop. again. poor kid. and then packed my kids and bags upstairs and got us all tucked into bed. And then got to sleep in little bursts amidst the baby being awake and in a new place. Such is life with a little one. 

The kids then got to play in the snow, roam with cousins, jump on the trampoline, sleep outside, change sprinkler pipe, ride a horse, you know. all the fun things that come with being on a ranch. I have never been more grateful to my family for all their love and support. Even if they were also contributors to certain things. HAHA. We went to a hot springs on our way to stay at a cabin and Seth stepped in a hot stream and burned his foot. Nothing like hearing the piercing pain scream from my child to get my mommy heart pumping and brain racing. My dad gave him a blessing and we continued on. My heart ached for him but it was equally comforted at the kindness of my nephews and nieces and brothers and dad and mom and sisters. We stayed one night at the cabin and I slept for an hour here and there between the baby and Seth but it was fun and I would do it again. I got to spend all that driving time with my dad. Made me remember my childhood and all the hours I followed him around just to talk and listen. 

When we got back to the ranch, my amazing mom doctored Seth up right and his foot looks amazing now. You wouldn't even know he'd been burned. (That was a hard thing and I hope he knows how very brave and strong he was. You can do anything Seth. Anything.) We got a total of 6 ticks pulled off of us all. With 3 of those being on me, Matty and Liam. When I found Liam's during his head check I just sat him on the counter, asked my brothers to take care of it and finish checking his head for ticks because I just couldn't take anymore. They did. I'm pretty sure that's what heaven is going to be like. Minus the injuries and bugs of course. I think it will be all of us just helping and loving each other with no judgment. Family. That's heaven. 

We then kept playing and sleeping and eating and changing pipe and doctoring kids. Matthew hit his head on the trampoline. I had just sat down to nurse Anders and I hear a Matty cry and then I hear another kid say, "whoa! Look at all the blood!" Head wounds. They bleed a lot but in this case it was harmless. My mom got to him before I did and loved on him and cleaned him all up and she and Travis got him all bandaged. And now there's just a little scar. One to match his Uncle Brian's forehead scar from the very same trampoline probably doing the same exact thing. Jumping with cousins. Making memories. 

James' hands were cracking and bleeding because he wouldn't let me put oil or lotion on them for the longest time. His Florida skin was having a hard time adjusting to the dry Idaho air. He's all back to normal now though and will probably keep his hands moist when we decide to visit a drier climate again. I hope. 

Liam must have walked into a door or the bench or something while we were there because as I was nursing the baby I heard and thud, and then screaming. He had a nice black eye for a while. Going to church was kind of humorous as it probably looked like we Benches got in a fight with a bull. But I'm happy to report we emerged victorious and I know I learned quite a lot. I hope the boys did too. Just got to toughen up the city boys a bit I guess. 

We went and saw Justin and Katelynn's new house and goats and roasted hot dogs and spent the night. I wish I'd had it in me to go camping with him but by this point in the trip I was running on empty. Maybe even just fumes. The boys were all coughing like crazy and night and some had a fever and Anders never slept more than a few hours at a time and I was run ragged. Camping and trying to keep Anders quiet so everyone else could sleep again might have done me in. I was kind of mental mess. So my dear brother, forgive me and know that I sincerely love you and hope to be able to go on lots more camping trips with you guys. When I am not running on empty. 

Chris caught up to us again and we were all sooooo glad to see him! That was a long time to be apart. We enjoyed more cousins. We rode horses. I took a nap or two. And then Chris got sick. Lay on the couch and sleep sick. Poor guy. Nothing like starting the trip with a crazy stomach bug and ending it with another bug. Then I got sick, but I hid it well. That sore throat though, was horrible. 

We drove to Chris' parents and the baby screamed at least half of the whole way. Because why not scream when we are all stuck in a fancy rental car together for hours and hours. I love my in-laws. Like I'm pretty sure I got the best ones. It's just like coming home when I'm with them. We shot marshmallows into the ditch. Ate from the garden. Made homemade ice cream. When on jet-skis with Uncle Josh and Aunt April. Saw some buffalo. Dreamed about living close to each other. And mostly, my heart was filled to the brim with how much love they have for their kids and grandkids and bonus kids. I wish I had gotten to spend more time with them and that I wasn't so run down by then. And I should have written this down sooner as my memory is failing on me just now. But for my kids reading this one day. Don't you ever doubt how much you are loved by your Bench grandparents. Never. I mean, you got homemade ice cream and grandpa's waffles and grandma's pies. Grandma Carrie got up with me in the middle of the night when a baby was screaming and the toddler was too. I couldn't help them both at the same time so she got one while I helped the other. Saying goodbye was the hardest part. It always is. Always. 

Then we stopped and saw Grandma Roberts on our way out. I love her. She's always so quick to show compassion and makes me feel so understood. I am truly sorry we couldn't stay longer grandma. We met at a park and didn't want to pass any germs we still might have had along to you. We sat in the parking lot and Chris and I cried for a long time. Living far away truly is hard. I am so grateful for technology. I can't imagine loading up in a wagon or a boat and saying goodbye to loved ones for the rest of their lives. Yes. Mail and technology are pretty amazing. 

We stopped at my sister's for the night and flew back to Florida. It was a long, much needed trip. It filled a place in my heart that had been empty for a while living so far away. I wish I could have done more and spent more time with all the people I love, but alas, we have to make do with what we have sometimes. 

My Beautiful Boys

I don't know how I got so lucky to get the best looking boys. I do so love them. We took these at my parents' ranch. Under protest from every single one of them. But it's ok. It was worth it. 

Liam 2 yrs. 

Anders 8 months

Seth 6 (almost 7) yrs

Matthew 5 yrs

James 9 yrs

Idaho Trip 2021 Part 1

Warning: Long winded story that's completely true. And kind of gross. Sickness and Illness involved. 

I just have to write this down for posterity. We went to Utah for Adam and Holly's wedding in May. I was so excited to go because my kids would get to meet all of their cousins on my side of the family. My heart still wishes they could have met ALL of their cousins from both sides. One day. We started the journey by playing in my sister Alice's backyard with all the cousins and then going swimming. So crazy and so fun. And then we were getting ready for the wedding the next day and my niece had thrown up that morning. And then Seth threw up. All over my brother Travis and the bathroom. Thank goodness it was the bathroom and not the carpet. But he also managed to get the white shirts Travis was steaming for the wedding. Ahh. So we washed those out and hurried and put them in the rinse cycle and then the dryer. I then got poor Seth showered off and lying down and then I cleaned every nook and cranny of that bathroom. I had been making cookies for the reception that night and hoped that someone would take them out of the oven at least. When I was finally done I hurried and nursed the baby while Chris was helping the other boys get ready. I probably was crying. I then got my dress on and grabbed all the things and hoped my kids wouldn't be too hungry missing lunch because I wasn't able to get them anything. We drove to the temple 40 min away with poor Seth dry-heaving into a cup the whole way. I also realized that if Travis hadn't of been standing in the bathroom working on his kids' shirts then my dress that was also hanging in the bathroom would have also gotten thrown up on. Tender mercy if you ask me. Thanks for taking a hit for me oldest brother. I guess Heavenly Father knew it would be easier to wash you than my dress. I also learned that my brother in law had finished baking my cookies and cleaned up my mess. He didn't have to. I am surrounded by amazing people. 

We got to the temple and parked and a sweet lady named Joann who was Adam's friend was there to watch my kids. I'd never met her before, but I took one look at her and knew she was a keeper. I plopped Anders in her arms, threw the keys at her, apologized for my sick one and said she could keep them in the car to watch a movie if she needed to and that my brother Justin was around somewhere watching my brother Brian's kids if she needed anything. Then we ran to the temple because we were late....only to wait another hour because they had forgotten the marriage license. HAHAHAHA. Only funny because of the 2 hours leading up to getting there. I did go check on my kids but I didn't get too close because I didn't want them to get clingy. Joann looked like she had it covered and my nieces and nephews were all playing a game with my kids. Then I waited in the temple and tried to calm myself. It half worked. I'm not so good at willing myself to be calm. It was so lovely to be in the temple again. It was beautiful to be there with my brother and family. Oh, how I love them all. Then we hurried back outside and I heard that Seth was super sick. I found him lying on the grass looking white as a ghost. And I couldn't find my baby. Or the car I drove. Or Joann...maybe she was a baby robber and not a keeper like I thought??? (thoughts go wild under duress)... And then I found her...after running all over unnecessarily. She was just moving the car closer. Phew. Haha. She's still a keeper. Then I go gather my crew, and we take pictures (pretty much holding Seth up. He was white as a sheet) and then jump in the car to go help set up for the reception. I really wanted a picture of just our little family at the temple but in the craziness of the moment it didn't happen. Oh well. 

Then we grabbed some food and got to the reception only to realize that poor Seth got sick out of both ends. I have never been more grateful for a booster seat. So glad I didn't have to clean my mom's car from that mess. And I had nothing to change him into. I had thought about grabbing a change of clothes before we left but we were late already and I figured we'd have time to stop by the house after the wedding. Ha. Fate had other plans. I was a mess wandering around the reception before everyone got there trying to keep an eye on my other kids and hoping Liam wouldn't fall into the trout pond and wondering what the heck I was going to do with Seth. And I was feeling bad for him that he was sick. I had almost resigned myself to staying at the car with him, but seeing me in tears my Aunt Amy and cousin Sierra went to walmart for some extra clothes. Angels. I got Seth cleaned up and we laid him on a blanket in a corner on the lawn and checked on him every once in a while. He was joined by Natalie who had thrown up that morning. My nephew Tustin kept a watch over Liam without even being asked to. Aunts and uncles and cousins held Anders the whole time. I managed to get some food. I was in the right place to get a dance with my little brother on his wedding day. No one fell in the pond, although I'm sure some fish didn't survive. I saw loved ones, I laughed a little. I chatted, I worried. I was frustrated and I learned a few things about myself. And then I was starting to notice kids lying on the lawn and rocks and thought, "oh no. They probably have what Seth does. We've doomed us all." Dramatic I know. But it was true. After Adam and Holly finally got their car unchained from the tree Travis chained it to they were able to leave. I cleaned up throw up one more time (just from the table that was all cleared off), and from the ground that was thankfully outside. 

We went back to Alice's and I prepared myself for a night of throw up. I was right. I had just closed my eyes after getting Anders to sleep and I hear the dreaded gagging and then the splash. I get James all cleaned up and into a sleeping place closer to the bathroom. Go upstairs for some paper towels to clean up a little and see Travis also cleaning up throw up from one of his kids. I climbed back into bed and a little while later I hear, "mom!!!" Down goes Matty. Or should I say up went Matty? We managed to get him to the bathroom before too much throw up got all over. I get him situated by James and start a load of laundry at 2 in the morning. Because the washer was right there and there was a house full of people. And that's just the logical thing to do. I go back upstairs to get more pull-ups from the car and my sister in law Nettie had just crawled back into bed. 5 of her kids were sick throwing up too. I don't know why, but knowing that we were all going though the same thing at the same time made it somehow less awful. It smelled so bad where we were staying in the basement. We threw away the half deflated air mattress. I'm grateful it had a hole before we ever used it. Anders and Liam just had diarrhea and tummy rumbles. Poor things but I'm grateful for no throw up from them too. 

When I emerged from the basement when it was finally light outside I saw my other little niece on the couch throwing up into a cup. Nooooo! I also didn't see my other brother's family. Apparently my sister in law told them that everyone was sick and to grab their stuff and run to the car. Haha! None of them were sick yet and she said her kids had never listened and obeyed so quickly. Poor things were sick and throwing up on their drive home though. Into plastic cups. Bless those plastic cups. As far as I know, only two of us emerged victorious over this illness. Two of my sisters in law. Every one else fell victim. Even Adam and Holly. On their honeymoon. Poor things. Although they did say it probably made them bond pretty well. Chris also had to fly home. I offered to get him depends just in case haha. He wouldn't let me and he didn't need them thank goodness. 

When I drove to my parents' from my sister's I thought we were smooth sailing. We weren't. Turns out the runs weren't finished with one of my sons yet. Diarrhea on the side of the road is perfectly acceptable right? And I will forever and always travel with those pad things hospitals use for body fluids. I call them pee pads but they saved the car. Nothing like nursing a baby in the car and hearing, "Oh no! mom it's coming and I can't stop it!" I then found myself standing in a gas station parking lot at 10:00 at night scraping poop into a trash bag and hoping that ruffians and thugs are no where around, to make you feel alive. Or at least keep you humble. Oh well. We survived and it makes for a gnarly story now. I would also say that Heavenly Father sure loves us. I think I would prefer to just hang out and have fun without a knock-you-to-the-bathroom illness when we are all together, but if I had to be sick and have all my kids sick- I'm grateful it was while I was with my family all together so we could laugh about it for years to come. 

The moral of this story to which every single one of us survivors agrees is: 

Never trust a fart. 

To be continued.....

Tender Moments

There are times when I want to scream and yell and run away. Usually at bedtime. And sometimes I do a few of those things. But sometimes I try something different and am amazed by the outcome of just a little plea to heaven to get through bedtime without turning into a fire breathing dragon. Was I still fuming inside while brushing their teeth and herding them to the living room for scriptures and prayer? Yes! Did I cringe when the 7 year didn't have his bed ready to climb into even though he had alllllllll day? Absolutely. But I didn't get angry like I sometimes do. And because I gave a little effort to be a little better, I was able to see the tender side of those little balls of energy shaped like little boys. Matty gave me the biggest, squeeziest hug. The kind I love. James and Liam were determined to have a sleepover in "nannie's" bed. Liam calls James nannie for some reason. We have no idea why but we all think it's hilarious. I did't let them because it never ends in sleep. Mostly just more giggling and craziness and crankiness. Seth man and James feeding sweet little Anders his bottle. Then when I finally got a giggling Liam to his bed with a firm declaration that he must stay in his own bed now, I went to lay Anders down. Of course he was going to cry so I was about to take him out when 5 year old Matty said, "Mom, don't worry. I know how to get him to stop crying. I just sing to him and he stops." I never knew he did that. But  sure enough I laid Anders down, he started crying, I shut the door, I heard Matty sing, and then I heard silence. Magic. For a moment I got to stop and realize just how amazing it is to be the mom of these amazing little men. And to feel grateful to have all five of them so they could learn how to sing to and comfort each other and hopefully others too one day. It was a beautiful moment....And then the oldest two got out of bed again asking for this or that....of course they did. haha. moment gone, but thankfully memory is not. I had to ask if they wanted to wipe down the chairs and table and, funny enough, I haven't heard a peep since. Guess they decided they really were tired. 

From Mother's Day. All I wanted was a picture and you'd think I'd asked them to cut off an arm. 

Guess we just have to practice more. 

Bittersweet Blessings

I love you Grandma. Thank you for weaving your way into my life so fully and deeply. Seems like every day (sometimes every hour) I come across something you gave me or taught me. 

I took Liam and Anders and went to her funeral. It was more like a family reunion with a tinge of sadness. I got to see cousins I haven't seen in more than 10 years. I got to spend time with my siblings all together for the first time in 10 years. I got to introduce my two youngest to their Bench grandparents. So while it was a sad reason to go, it was also a blessing in so many other ways. Bittersweet and beautiful.  And if Grandma were here she would say, "I'm Grandma Mary and I Love You!"

Liam and Uncle Adam. 

She was helping his little ears. I promise. 

Anders and Grandpa Keller 

Liam, Grandpa and Anders

Just talking around the table. I miss this the most of all some days. 

Anders and Uncle Travis. 

I got to meet this beautiful girl for the first time. LOVE you Naomi!! 

And...while mom was gone the boys built a fireplace and roasted marshmallows. 

Liam, Anders, and Grandma Carrie. 

Love this. 

They also went fishing while mom was away. What a life! 

The whole weekend Liam wasn't too sure about so many new people but he held onto Grandpa Bench's hand...and it was good for my heart to see. I love these people. I love that they are mine now too. 

Snow. This Florida kid got to see snow. and he didn't like that it made his hands cold but he liked to kick in it. 

This picture fills my heart with joy. I love them so. 

My beautiful mama and my baby. 

So many happy memories in this space. 

Aunt Holly curling Naomi's hair. 

Not every day you get to see your parents get engaged. Haha. I'm kidding. Mom got her ring fixed and dad gave it to her. I was standing there and made them ham it up for me. Love that they played along. 

The fireplace they built. 

On the airplane. 

That TV. Kept him awake all but the last 20 min of the 5 hour flight. Haha. He was good though. Even kept the mask on for the most part. I was so worried he wouldn't and I would get kicked off and miss the funeral and and and...brains do funny things sometimes. It was fine. Both flights were great.

He loved cruising in the hallway waiting for the flight. 

Worst part of the flight was the walk out of the airpot in Utah. But we survived. And people are so nice. 

And when you get most of your people from one side of your family in one place...you hire someone to take a beautiful picture in front of the beautiful swing set your dad and brothers made with their new sawmill and then have her photo shop in the rest of them. And then you just stare at it...for a long time...and feel your heart overflow with gratitude and love and sadness and happiness and just... all of it. 

4 months

I don't know how we are already to 4 months but he is still the sweetest little man. He smiles all the time, laughs at his brothers and loves to be held.

This is really how our monthly photo shoots go. 

It's pretty amazing we actually manage to get a picture with just the baby. Love all my helpers.